Wednesday, January 3, 2024

CAST(E) AWAY

The invitation was for Satyanarayan puja, the worship of Lord Vishnu [1]. Frankly, I do not prefer to go much to any such ritualistic ceremonies. But this being a close friend’s invitation, I could not ignore it. We reached the designated time but were kept waiting for the arrival of the purohit [2], who was supposed to conduct the religious rituals. Even ‘God’ was waiting!

Finally, he arrived, a good hour late. Wearing traditional yellowish-orange dhoti [3] and janeu [4]. It was all decked out for the ‘show’. The purohit gave some finishing touches and then started his commentary on mantras [5]. Along with other friends and their families who were also invited, we were mute witnesses to the puja. When the puja was almost over, my friend’s wife seemed to be unusually worried about something that she had supposedly missed. I tried to be of help. This would also give me a break from the rhythmic chants in Sanskrit that I hardly understood. I soon found out that she needed four coins of one rupee each. I volunteered and went around the neighborhood to arrange those coins in time.

After the puja was over, I observed the purohit whispering something in the ear of my friend. He nodded obediently, and soon after I saw him distributing a coconut, a beetle leaf, an areca nut, and a one-rupee coin to four other friends present there. Somehow, he chose to ignore me, not making me the recipient of this set of goodies that looked like a return gift. Not that it mattered much, but I was curious about my omission. I kept quiet until all the rituals were over. A cab was arranged for the purohit, and he left with a bag full of fruits, sweets, other goodies and dakshina [6].


After most people had left, I confronted my friend and asked him why he had chosen to make me devoid of his goodies. It was then that I realized that the ‘goody bag’ was meant only for
brahmins [7], and the purohit had instructed my friend via whisper to give the same to any four brahmin men. I was terribly disappointed and made no bones about expressing the same to my friend, who was both apologetic and empathetic to my complaints. I was his closest friend, yet somehow today my caste seemed to make me a tad inferior to others, and I was suddenly this second-class invitee in that group of people. It really hurt. As I have aged, my belief in traditional rituals and practices has increasingly diminished owing to such belief systems.

How can the caste determined by the birth of a person be a determinant of his purity or piety? Why should upper-caste people be put on a pedestal? Why should caste and not the karma (deeds) of a person determine his worth? How can we discriminate against people based on their birth, created by the same God? And how can we please the almighty when we do not care two hoots about hurting a fellow human being? If we are all children of God, then would a parent be happy if they found one child discriminating against or hurting another child?

And finally, why did my friend choose not to defy the purohit when he issued such diktats? But to be fair to him, I cannot blame him too much for his behavior. Afterall, most people find it comforting to conform, rather than confront.

 Footnotes

[1] The second God in the Hindu triumvirate, according to beliefs, is responsible for the upkeep of the world.

[2] the sacred brahmin blessed by a guru.

[3] A loose piece of clothing wrapped around the lower half of the body.

[4] a sacred thread (yagyopavita or janeu) that is received by a brahmin boy during the Upanayana ceremony marking acceptance of a student by a guru teacher and an individual's entrance to a school in Hinduism and that he continues wearing across his chest thereafter.

[5] A mantra is a sacred utterance, a numinous sound, a syllable, word or phonemes, or group of words in Sanskrit believed by practitioners to have psychological and/or spiritual powers.

[6] Cash or money paid to Purohit for his religious services.

[7] Brahmins are the upper caste cohort. Hindus have four main castes: Brahmins, Vaishyas, Kshatriyas, and Shudras, in decreasing order of their status in society. 

Photo credit: Andrii Yalanskyi

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

How I Survived a Midair 'Gas' Attack? (3-minute read)

Pandemic is over. What’s the use of face masks now? I often wonder. I still carry them in my bag just as a precaution when I fly or use any form of public transportation. But will I ever need them?  Well! I hope never. But then does it hurt if few harmless masks, that weigh few feathers, are lying in a corner of my handbag! Not really. 

I almost forgot about them until I took this flight recently. As I settled down on my seat, a pungent odour wafted through the air into my olfactory senses. Clearly, someone was suffering from poor digestion. I covered my nose until the smell was gone. Again, after about 10 minutes the same pungent odour! I cover my nose again. I hoped this was the last time. But it kept repeating frequently as if someone was doing 'it' using with a snooze button. The ‘alarm’ would go off again and again!

I had to last a long flight and unable to take this ordeal anymore, I beckoned the air hostess and hesitantly explained her the situation, requesting for a change of seat. She empathized with my situation and started to check on her device for an empty seat. By that time her male colleague came by and asked what the problem was. The air hostess very audibly explained my predicament. They both tried but were unable to change my seat as the flight was full. They were very sympathetic and empathetic of my helpless situation but were unable to help me. I don’t blame them.

They, however, had done one good thing though, they had alerted the ‘offender’ by disclosing my problem audibly, enough for passengers in the vicinity to hear. I thought that would deter the gas emanator, but anonymity was ‘criminal’s’ biggest weapon. 'It' continued silently, unabated. I found my situation both comic and tragic. 

Who could be doing such a despicable act! I looked around. Everyone appeared suspicious. After some time, I noticed the passengers sitting next to me weren’t covering their noses. It must be one of them, I thought. Or maybe they had nose blockages, and the one might be in front of me or across the aisle…It was of no use trying to play Sherlock Holmes. This was no baker street, and I didn’t have detective powers either.

By this time, I felt almost like puking. Nose coverings weren’t working much. Suddenly I remembered the ignored, forgotten mask lying in my bag. I immediately pulled out one and put it on my face. Believe it or not, that mask saved me from becoming a victim to an unusual gas attack. 

So, next time you second guess the use of mask during ‘peace time’, remember it can still save the day for you, literally!

(Photo Credits: Hoang Chuong via Hoàng Chương - Photography (pexels.com))

Wednesday, November 15, 2023

Vanishing Footsteps

A feeling that I will never ever receive another message or text from that person, I will never be able to see that person again or speak to the person is excruciating – the sense of loss, losing someone dear wrenches your heart like a wet cloth is dry rung.  

For me, I don’t feel anything when ‘it’ happens, it is a state of numbness. Is it that I don’t feel anything, or I don’t want to feel the loss, I do not know, but I just go on with life as usual. Then days pass, and things start to settle in and suddenly one day the treacherous heart skips a beat and that feeling, the one I hate most, dawns on me. A sort of dreadful realization…that’s when you feel the loss…the air feels short of oxygen and chest starts to feel like a hollow tunnel. A strange form of sadness envelopes me like misty smoke surrounds the burning wood. A concoction of memories, those moments, those missed chances of conversation or meetings that happened and the ones that never could, all swarm around the heart incessantly. The eyes are dry, but there is a corner of heart that is wet, unseen, hidden, somewhere deep within. One question keeps reverberating within - why did the footsteps vanish? I know, it has no answer, 

Over the years I have also come to realize that the world will never ever understand your grief, and who is trying to explain in the first place. Grief is like another dear page of one's diary. Even if no one reads it, the page never loses its meaning.

I close my eyes and speak to the one whom I lost…'stay well wherever you are, you suffered a lot, may you now be free from all suffering and may light guide your path ahead'.

I have to go...life is calling again…life is such...after all the show must go on…!!

Friday, September 22, 2023

Love is no business; Business is no love!

 


“Our child is not our return on investment.

Not an asset for our future entitlement.

We are just caretakers of this adorable ‘dove’.

Afterall, love is no business, and business is not love.”

As parents, we believe, we are caretakers of our children designated by the almighty. God has entrusted us with this beautiful ‘gift’ as a reward for the love that I and my wife share with each other. So, when we are showering love on our child, taking care of him, or bringing him up, we are not doing that with any sense of expectation. Instead, this is purely an act of love. We feel warm inside when we see our child happy, hearty, and healthy; our heart fills with contentment when we see him live life to the fullest; we feel joy when we see him smile. In simple words, loving him is our need, something that defines and completes our life.

For us seeing our child happy is our happiness. It is not important for him to do those things or live that life that makes us happy. Instead, we will be happy to see him lead a life that he relishes, make choices that brings him joy and fulfilment.

We know that at some point we will have an empty nest and this adorable ‘bird’ that we have now will fly to new horizons. Our wish and expectation at that time will be that he stays happy, healthy and enjoys what he does and makes most of his time. His happiness is and will always remain our happiness. Our message to him at that point of time will be -

‘Son, go live your life the way you want, explore new vistas, be happy, healthy, and joyous always. Do what you love and love what you do. We promise we will look after ourselves and be happy when we see you happy and thriving.’

 

Monday, July 31, 2023

Check-in Attitude, Fly out of Turbulence (2 minute read)

 I usually reach airport early, whenever I have to catch a flight. During one such recent flights, I had reached the airport well in advance and soon found myself in a short queue for checking-in. There were just 3 passengers before me, and it was quite relaxed. 

Two check-in counters were active, each with attended by a female ground staff. Within the short wait time, I observed a distinct difference in the behavior of the two ladies. While one was looked visibly irritated, and it reflected in her talking and behavior. An aged customer, whom she was attending now was taking time to follow certain rules that she was trying to explain. Her impatience with this passenger was evident in her rude tone that could easily be overheard. 

In contrast, the other lady seemed pleasant in her disposition. She smiled and greeted each passenger who went up to the counter, and even seemed to have a small conversation, before handing them their boarding cards and wishing them a safe flight. All this while keeping a smile on her face. She was patient in answering the queries of the passengers. Although it would hardly make a difference to the check-in process, I secretly wished that when my turn comes, I be led to the this counter.

The randomness of the chance did not disappoint me, and when my turn came, counter-2 was vacant. It was a pleasant and smooth check-in, however what impressed me more was the ease with which she was striking a conversation. She even managed to ask me what I do for a living. She further asked the subjects I teach and nodded happily to my replies. Handing over my boarding pass, she wished me, guess what? No, not the usual - have a safe flight, instead with a beaming smile she remarked ‘Happy Teaching’. We both smiled and thanking her I proceeded for the security. 


I would have gone through such check-in routines so many times, but this one felt different. Functionally there was no difference, I still got the same boarding pass I would have received, but affectively it did make a big difference. The lady just upped my experience and in turn created an opportunity for her airline. Remember in terms of getting the job done, both the ladies at the check-in counters were following the same set of instructions, true to the book. They were perhaps having similar levels of knowledge and equally skilled. The difference was however in the attitude with which they approached their jobs, that left passengers with contrasting experiences.

So many times, we might have heard that ‘hire for attitude, train for skill’. This is a testimony why and how attitude makes such a big difference.

 I have in the higher education teaching for more than two decades now. Whether I am a good or a bad teacher is determined less by the knowledge I possess or by my teaching skills, instead more by my attitude towards my profession and towards my students. My ability to empathize with the learning needs and expectations of my students. My attitude towards my job will determine if I can make the learning relevant, fun and inclusive; ultimately reflecting in the experiences of my students.

Take a minute to reflect on the job you do, and how your attitude makes a difference! And if you are in a hiring role, remember that without a doubt attitude is the real game changer.

Saturday, July 29, 2023

The 3-H Rule (2-minutes to read, a lifetime to reflect)

 In every adversity, there is a hidden opportunity. Covid-19 pandemic, a name that no one wants to hear anymore, and we have left it behind for good, this bad thing also had an opportunity to offer. It offered a hidden opportunity to learn certain important lessons of life. Well, I don’t know what others learned from this, but I learnt that about the three most significant things in my life. I call them the – ‘The 3-H Rule’.


Home: The first H stands for home. We found out during Covid that the safest and the most reassuring place in the world was Home, and family your biggest security. No five star or seven-star luxury could offer a similar level of comfort, reassurance, and security that one’s home and family could offer, no matter how humble the dwelling might be. So never forget your home and family for anything in this world. Remember in your worst times, they will stand by you, no matter if anyone else does or not.

Health: We have heard perhaps a million times that health is wealth, but the true meaning of it we realized during the pandemic. Tragically, so many people who had accumulated wealth over the years could not even use a penny before the pandemic overshadowed their existence. Hence, remember to put your health first. You can enjoy the money that you earn only when you have health to support the same. Never, not for anything in this world, put your health as second.

Happiness: It is never too late to pursue what you really love doing and follow your passion. So, if you think you are stuck in a boring job that you never wanted to do, and instead, you wish to pursue something else, take that leap. Success for me is happiness. If your achievements do not make you happy, your relationships are depressing you, they can never be called success. Pursue your happiness while not treading on the happiness of others. So that when finally, it’s time to hang one’s boots, there mustn’t be any regret – if only I would have done that, if only I would have made that choice, if only I would have listened to my heart…. Life is today and now! Go live it!

Follow the ‘3-H principle’ and you will have the time of your life in this big wide world. Happy living!


Friday, July 28, 2023

Grow up (1 minute read)

Who would say this! To a child, to a young adult, a middle-aged person or to a senior. Generally, we associate growing-up with children, but the matter of fact is that our growth ideally should never stop. Every day we must grow as a person and become a better version of yesterday.

Distinctly, I see many promising kids who do not grow-up into equally promising adults, or very charming young adults who do not grow-up to be mature and wise people, or very successful adults who do not grow up to be gracious seniors with greys. In other words, somewhere they lose their way. Their promise, their charm, their wisdom fades away, and they become just a poor shadow of their past. Why does this happen? This happens because we stop growing as individuals. We stop growing because we stop learning. And we stop learning because we stop self-introspecting. We stop making good use of our senses and hence stop picking up the right stimuli.

Ignorance or arrogance or both, they make us blind. Afterall just having eyes is not enough, vision is more important. So, remember friends, it is never too late to grow up.